blame it upon a rush of blood to the head
by Tiffany Blews
Summary: And he probably hates her, but at least that means she's on his mind. Finn/Santana.


blame it upon a rush of blood to the head

* * *

"How do you feel?"

"I don't feel anything, because it didn't _mean_ anything."

* * *

Truth?

She wanted Finn way before Quinn did.

More truth?

Quinn won that battle, too.

* * *

The moment she finds out that Q's got a bun in the oven, she knows it isn't Finn's.

Quinn tells Santana and Brittany that they shared a very romantic night together about a month ago, and, _yes_, Santana, I _know_ God's not very happy with me right now. She smirks as Quinn twitches her way through the explanation. That's her tell, has been since the beginning of time. She might be able to lie to everyone else, but Santana's a little smarter than your average Lima loser.

It took her a little longer to figure out that Puck was the actual father. She's never been so mad in her _life_, and she has a short temper and latin blood, so that's saying a lot. Quinn could've fucked anyone in this school, hell, in this _state_, but she chose Puck. _Noah Puckerman_, the only guy Santana's ever acutally cared the bitch wasn't pregnant, Santana would've probably kicked the shit out of her, Lima heights style.

She's tempted to break it Finn, save him a little heartache, but, she figures, the longer the charade goes on, the more hurt Quinn's going to be in the end. And the side of her that wants a little revenge has always been the stronger part.

* * *

She gets wrapped up in Brittany.

She should never have let it happen, but these last few months have been hard, and lonely, what with Puck trailing after Quinn like a lost puppy dog and all the other boys failing at keeping her satisfied. No one interests her, everyone's vapid and annoying, but then Brittany swoops in with her sweet smile and dumb little head and Santana's enamored with her. Entranced by her.

And she doesn't like girls, okay, she doesn't. She likes Brittany, its a phase, and she's going to let it play out. Besides, all the boys find it hot, and she likes the way they look at her when she walks down the hall holding Britt's hand.

(And if she catches Finn practically drooling a couple of times, then, so be it.)

* * *

Closest she's ever come to tears?

"Is is true? Just tell me, is it true?"

She feels regret, for a moment, and she wishes she could go back and not let the need for vengance stop her from helping Finn. She can see tears in his eyes and Puck's got a split lip, his fists shaking at his sides. She doesn't think she'll ever get the picture out of her mind.

* * *

Quinn cries a lot and mopes around, Puck throws an arm around her shoulder, and Santana thinks it's _exactly _what she deserves._ Ha, _she thinks, _you manipulative bitch_.

And so what if she's vicious?

At least she's upfront about it, at least everyone already knows.

* * *

After Finn and Rachel have their, like, five minute romance, Santana starts looking to get back in the game.

Breadstix, a tri-date, and Brittany's talking about gay sharks. Finn looks uncomfortable and not happy and she wants to make him smile, but she's not quite sure how. She decides to just be a bitch and see how that works out for her.

(It doesn't. Work out well, that is.)

* * *

Worst moment of her life, to date?

Hotel room, pink slip, and she's sick and ashamed and _mad_, most of all.

She doesn't know how to make it better, she doesn't know what to say and he thinks it's meaningless, but it _wasn't_. At least, not to her.

* * *

She tries to stop thinking about him, distracts herself with Brittany, fucks Puck once or twice.

The summer is long and hot and she gets a _killer_ tan but she can't really let it go completely. It's like a constant tick in the back of her mind, always there, continually reminding her that Quinn's better, she's not good enough, Finn doesn't care for her, at _all_.

She gets a boob job to boost her confidence. Puck almost dies when he sees them, Brittany is way more excited than she should be. She likes herself a little more.

She starts jogging by his house every afternoon in a sports bra and spandex, just because.

* * *

Finn and Rachel the sequal is a trillion times more annoying than the original.

They hold hands all the goddamn time and when Rachel sings this sappy love song to him in glee he gets this sweet little look on his face like, oh I'm _so_ in _love._ Santana wants to rip her throat out, on principle (even though it really sounds lovely, but she'll never admit that to anyone, not even herself.)

And to top it all off Quinn gets her bumped to the bottom of the pyramid because of the whole boob job fiasco. She sees red when she finds out and she really can't be held responsible for the fact that she ghetto stomps Quinn in the hallway; girl had it coming.

She pretends that she hasn't been wanting to whoop her ass for over a year because of Finn and focuses soley on the fact that she has to support Kacey Larkins' bony knees yet again.

* * *

He never even looks at her anymore.

* * *

Oh, and fucking Sam moves to Lima and he and Quinn fall immediatley in love.

They're the perfect little blonde couple and she wants to slit her own wrists every time she sees them together. Finn and Rachel prance around like... like fucking idiots and she's really hard to be around because of it all.

Puck gets sent to juvie, and she pushes Brittany away for the final time.

"I'm not in love with you."

She's fucking alone, like she was always supposed to be.

No one to impress, no one to dissapoint.

* * *

Fucking wedding.

She loves him in a tux, loves it, and she puts on his tie and watches his eyes and wishes she was Rachel, just for a moment.

She feels like crying, and everything's messed up and she doesn't have anybody. She's alone, like she was always supposed to be but that doesn't make it any easier.

* * *

She ruins it for him, and he probably hates her, but at least she's on his mind.

She feels better when Rachel tries to hook up with Puck and then it's _really _over.

Guess it wasn't all her fault, now, was it?

* * *

Santana opens the door.

"You're probably the biggest bitch I've _ever _met. And I dated Quinn."

"Did you come over here to insult me? Because I'm really not in the mood."

Finn rolls his eyes, "No, I came to... Honestly, I don't really know why I came. I just... didn't have anywhere else to go."

"Breadstix?"

"Sure. But I'm not buying this time, I still kind of hate you."

"Deal."

* * *

_"I really like Finn, I think."_

_"Seriously? You can't like Finn, Santana."_

_"And why is that?"_

_Quinn sighs, like Santana is a toddler in need of scolding, "Noah Puckerman is where it's at. Finn's too... Awkward. And clumsy. Plus, he's playing JV this year. Puck's on varsity."_

_Santana nods._

_She books a Friday night date with Puck._

_Come to find out, Quinn's already got one with Finn._


End file.
